Back in the saddle again...

Sorry couldn't resist the country pun...yes, I rode my bicycle yesterday.  It was short, it was too embarrassing to say how far or the pace but I went.  This journey may be one of the longest in my life.

Maybe it was supposed to suck because then I would never get in this bad of shape again.  Maybe I expected too much out of myself.  Maybe I was too hard on myself.  Who knows?

So, I went after we watched the prologue of the Tour De France.  Inspired, maybe?  I went is the whole point and you have to start somewhere.  I'm really out of shape.  My bum doesn't have its normal toughness.  I came home in tears.  What can you do?  Try harder tomorrow.  Go a half mile more or a mile more tomorrow. Just keep going.  Like Teddy Roosevelt said "when you're going through hell, keep going."

Here's what I learned...consistency is key, don't have unreasonable expectations, don't be so critical of yourself, and no one is going to do for you. You can sit around feeling sorry for yourself or you can go out and do it.  You can still b**** about it but at least you went. 

So, hang around for the journey...it might be long but it will be interesting.

There will always be another Monday...

There will always be another Monday…                               Monday, June 25, 2012

So last October, I took a tumble off my bike. Okay, if you know me at all, know I don’t do anything half-ass…I shattered the top part of my distal radius.  For people like me, it’s the top part of your wrist.  I also broke another bone on the other side of the wrist.  Now, Ironman might actually be true because I have a metal plate and seven screws in my wrist. It’s a pretty awesome scar. 

To most folks, they would pick themselves dust themselves off and try again. Me…not so much.  For 2009, 2010 and 2011, I had tried to ride 10,000 miles.  On October 6, 2011, I was at about 7800 miles and on day 5 of a week-long cycling trip.  My favorite week of the year is what I normally call it.  Cycle North Carolina has been my tradition for the past five years.  I love it!  Even before the tumble, I wasn’t really having fun.  It had nothing to do with the company, the route, the ride, the wine (what could be wrong with wine), or anything.  Cycling had become work.  I was angry for so many things.  My husband should have been home from a year-long tour in Korea on October 6, 2011.  His tour was extended.  We would be moving to Germany in January and had to sell our home that literally had my blood, sweat and tears in it.  He would return for three weeks in November and then off to school for three weeks and back home for less than a month before we moved.  My new bike, though I love it, wasn’t quite right.  I was going to have to leave my friends of almost ten years that had become my support system and my family from love.  I probably wouldn’t be able to see my family before I left.  I was working from sun up to sun down to try and get our house ready to sell.  I was riding well but I felt like our club rides had become about speed and the hell with anyone else.  That’s not what the club had worked so hard for in the past.  So, even though I was riding well, it was never good enough.  After three weeks off the bike, I slowly started riding again on a flat bar bike in my neighborhood and eventually made it back to riding and rode 8,000 miles for the year.  Most people would be thrilled with that number but missing the 10K mark was just another failure to me. 

So, we moved…well, I should say I extended my stay for about 2 weeks to finish getting our house ready to sell.  I literally was working like a one-armed paper hanger to do it.  I was painting bathrooms when I was still in my cast.  I was filthy in the yard and just let me tell you…don’t do that, it was so itchy!!!  Thank God for friends because I would have never got it done.  Well, it still wasn’t completely done but our realtor and friends were amazing!!  So, on February 1, I get on the plane and got bumped to business class for the long flight. My bike was in tow and I didn’t have to pay for it.  I was going to see my husband and actually live with him for more than two months out of the year, which I hadn’t done in almost eight years. What could go wrong?

In Germany, in February…it’s really cold!  I don’t mean throw on your booties, handwarmers, toewarmers and go cold…I mean for a week it did not go over freezing.  I am from Texas, have lived in North Carolina for the past ten years…I HATE riding in the cold.  It makes all those tumbles and falls hurt so much worse.  Still, when it got to about 40, I would go for short rides.  The bike paths are so awesome here.  Soon, even that became a struggle.  Soon, I hadn’t worked out in three weeks, a month, and I didn’t want to.  My breathing started to become labored going upstairs and when I would stand up I would be dizzy. My shoulder hurt so bad that I had panic attacks on a regular basis.  I went to the doctor, the therapist, the physical therapist, the social worker…I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing but I wasn’t getting better.  Honestly, I told my husband that they should take my six Ironman medals back and I shouldn’t even be able to have my tattoo.  I felt like that had happened to a different person.  Luckily, they can’t do that.  Oh, I am sure I have used performance-enhancing drugs, too.  You know like Motrin, Perocet, caffeine, salt tabs, and whatever else might help.  I thought I was going crazy.  I mean literally, not figuratively because I already there figuratively.  To me, my prognosis was not promising. 

In May, I went in to my primary care doctor.  I went to the therapist directly after and she said I looked awfully pale.  I just thought it was because I hadn’t been riding and getting tan.  My husband works across the parking lot from the hospital so we had lunch in the dining facility and as we were finishing up, the assistant comes running in and politely asks, “Mrs. Doyle, could you please go back to the lab and have them rerun your blood work?”  I did and headed home.  After I got home, I got in the shower and as I was getting out, the phone was ringing.  It was the doctor’s assistant.  She said the words everyone hopes to never hear…Mrs. Doyle, can you come back in, the doctor needs to talk to you?  Okay, I thought this is it, I have cancer, I am gonna die.  My husband doesn’t answer his cell phone and I start to go a little crazy.  About five minutes later, she calls back with the doctor on the line.  The doctor explains that my hemoglobin levels were at 6.6 when they were at 12 in January.  I need to have a blood transfusion.  I need to go now.  There is bleeding somewhere in my system.  Our post is closing in the next few years so the nearest proper hospital is Landstuhl, which is about an hour away.  Landstuhl is where they send the troops injured overseas.  This is probably the top trauma Army hospital.  So, my husband gets home, we go to Landstuhl and check in.  By then, the hemoglobin level had dropped to 5.6.  That night they gave me two units of blood.  I stayed in the hospital over the weekend and had a procedure on Monday that found I had several small peptic ulcers, which causing the bleeding.  You see, when I broke my wrist, they found I had osteopenia probably caused by my heartburn medication that I had take forever.  This is why the bone shattered.  So, they changed the meds and when I got to Germany I went on a daily NSAID.  Peptic ulcers are usually caused by, drum roll please, NSAIDs.   So, they put me back on the regular medication and lots of calcium.  After this, I started slowly to feel better.  I was attempting to exercise twice a week and two weeks ago, I even went to the gym.  Finally, things seemed to be turning around. BRRRAAAKKKEEE…

Last Sunday, I started to feel bad.  Monday, I could barely get down the stairs and was very nauseated.  Tuesday, I couldn’t eat anything and I had horrible diarrhea.  Of course, my husband was TDY when this happens.  I can’t go to the store because I can’t walk down my short flight of stairs without grasping the bars.  I have the flu.  The last time I had the flu was the day the Space Shuttle Discovery crashed.  I don’t get a flu shot because I haven’t had the flu since then…Wednesday things seem to feel a little better.  Thursday I was so sick again.  Friday, I go to the doctor and he tells me I have the flu but he will run my blood levels just in case.  My blood levels had dropped from 9.1 to 8.2 but normally a transfusion isn’t done until the level is at 8.  The reason it probably dropped because I can’t eat.  I can’t tolerate the iron I normally take because it makes me sick.  It doesn’t last long in my system anyway.  In normal fashion, I start to beat the crap out of myself again and having a pity party.  I really was mad because it just didn’t seem fair that things always happen to me (lost the job I loved, dog attack, broken wrist, moving, low iron, the flu-nothing half-ass ever) and other people seem to just bounce back and I can’t seem to.  I’m fat, flabby, unemployed and I can’t get motivated for any reason.  I think if the house were on fire, I probably wouldn’t run.  I never wanted to be fat again.  I fought with my husband and think he’s a jerk sometimes.  Finally, last night, I realized that the only person that can change all of this is me.  I can walk around like I have been for the past six months…mad at God and the world, sad, and depressed or I can fix it.  It’s no one else’s fault these things happened.  Sometimes stuff just happens.  When I woke up this morning, I remember something someone once said to me about getting back on the wagon, there’s always gonna be another Monday.  What she meant was we often say “starting Monday, I’m going to the gym every day and eating right”, etc, etc. but we can start right now. It just happens to be another Monday.  Why am I telling you all of this?  Because I want you to come on my journey (and yours, too) of pulling ourselves out of the dumps or whatever.  People feel this way all the time but they never say it out loud.  I am always afraid people will think I am weak and I don’t want that.  So, here I am…I’ll say it out loud.  I’ll take the ridicule and rude comments – I got big shoulders.  Just so you know I won’t like it but I’ll take it because we need to stop trying to be SuperWoman or SuperMan and start being ourselves.  So, come along on this journey back to the road less traveled…the more, the merrier.  The road will be bumpy and dark sometimes but we can make it if we try.

A philosopher?!?

So, especially when I have had lots of wine, I fancy myself a philosopher…okay, it’s a LOT of wine…anyway, this evening, having some yummy NC wine, I came up with this thought…we think the things that matter are the ones we can see and a value on but really the things that matter are the small things that no one can see and put a value on...  The smell of your husband when you open his car even when he has been gone over a year, the feel of a hug from a true friend, your Mom’s unconditional love, your sister’s love when she covers you up and straightens your socks in a hospital bed, a text from someone unexpected, a phone call, the feel of your bicycle when you have had the best ride (inside and out)  and the list goes on and on.  Same story folks…value your loved ones because in a split second they can be gone.  Take the time when it happens to really treasure the smell, feel, sounds, etc.  Because in the years to come…those are the things that really matter.

Back again...

Sometimes my brain goes a little off and takes a break from my blog and real life...it's part of my charm. 

The past few weeks have been especially frustrating.  Riding my bike causes some pain every time I ride and that is frustrating.  Somehow, I had my biggest mileage week of the year last week.

Truly, I have never considered myself an athlete.  Even through 6 IM races, I still never thought of myself as an athlete.  And I am not sure I do today but one thing I do consider myself is a cyclist.  I'm not fast, I'm not great at it but it is what I am.  I don't limit myself to this but in athletic terms it is what I am. Cycling has brought such joy to my life.  I have made some of my best friends through cycling.  I found out my Dad died while I was on my bike.  I have cried, smiled, laughed, angered and every other emotion I can think of while riding.  My friend, Pat, calls that bike therapy.  I have actually solved all the world's problems while riding...of course, I forget the solutions when I get home.  Another part of my charm, I guess.  Really, I am writing this to encourage readers to do what they love even though it hurts sometimes.  Because in the end, it is what you are. And if it makes you happy or you finish and feel a million times better then it was worth it.  This is not to say you won't ever have a bad day but those bad days make you appreciate the good ones even more.  So, pedal on friends, pedal on.

DMZ

4/30/2011 4:54 PM(5:54 AM 5/1/2011 Seoul, Korea time) As I write this, I am sitting in my husband’s apartment in Seoul, Korea. It’s early and somehow after almost a week my body is still on good ole USA time.

A few days ago, we visited the DMZ (Demilitarized Zone) and this really got me to thinking. Korea fought for decades to get their freedom from Japan. In 1945, they finally did! In 1950, South and North Korea engaged in an all-out civil war. They ARE still fighting this war and are the only country in the entire world that is divided currently. On the 38th parallel is where the country is divided. Along this there are huge barbed wire fences with armed guards and if you cross the 38th parallel, you will either be shocked or shot. This is truly a site to be seen. There are tunnels underground from North Korea that were literally made with dynamite and were intended to launch a full attack on Seoul. South Korea requires their young men to spend 23 months in the ROK Army (Republic of Korea) and North Korea requires their young men to spend almost 10 years in military service.

The DMZ is a 2 mile zone on each side of the 38th parallel. This is a buffer zone between the two sides. Now, we might just think this is a line…but this line divides families, friends, and people of the same country. Very few people are allowed to cross the 38th parallel and if and when they do, it is really restricted as to where they can go.

As we were lucky to see this area, it got me to thinking how lucky we are as Americans. Most of us have never seen any effects of a true war. We very rarely think of those who are fighting in a war and while we truly appreciate them, we can never know what that might be like. We take for granted that we can usually go and see our families and friends with little government restriction. We do not have to look at armed guards every day that are trained to shoot on site. We go about our daily business and dwell on what we think is important and dwell on injustices or something someone did or said to us. I am one who is very guilty of both these things. My own husband has fought in a war that I don’t even want to think about what he does while I am mad because my grass isn’t perfect or someone didn’t invite me to go on a bike ride. REALLY?!?! The DMZ really opened my eyes to how lucky we are all in the USA. Most of us were not alive when the last war was fought on US soil and we usually feel no effects (except rising gas costs which we complain about) so we have no idea what it is like to be in a country truly divided. We really don’t understand how lucky we are. We go about our business without any thought to people who have given their lives so we can go about our business without any thought.

In the Korean War alone, over 100,000 AMERICANS gave their lives to help ensure freedom for South Korea. What does this mean to us? We don’t live in Korea…but it ensures free trade from Korea (more products than you can imagine come from Korea) and an ally if we should come under attack. If you are in the military service, it could mean you might be stationed here and it ensures that Korean people treat you extremely kindly and are very friendly!

So, here’s what I can do about this…I can learn more about this war and appreciate those who gave their lives. I can share this knowledge with others. AND most importantly, I can stop to realize how lucky I am and how good my life is. I will probably keep complaining about my yard and bike rides. But I am going to try and keep it all in perspective and be thankful that I am an American and that God has afforded me opportunities that some people will never have. Here’s the challenge to you…can you do that? Stop! Think about how lucky we are and then be thankful for our lives as Americans and not complain about things that we are extremely lucky to have?!?! We have never really seen a true war and we can see anyone we want without government restriction. We do not have to be afraid of crossing from Texas into Oklahoma (or any other state) without being shot. We do not have to see armed guards daily and be separated by a 2 mile DMZ with nasty looking barbed wire…We can ride our bikes across the entire country if we wanted to!!!!

So, today, think about how lucky we are and be thankful! That’s what I am going to try and do!

More stuff you can actually use...

So, yesterday, I got in my April Century.  My friend, Lou, somehow convinced me to join UMCA - Ultra Marathon Cycling Association-Year Rounder Challenge (http://www.ultracycling.com/standings/umc.html)%20so so I have been trying to get a century a month.  Fortunately, they let you count a century over 90 miles because I ran out of daylight and my get-up and go-got up and went!  While I was riding, the front of my knee hurt like the dickens (and how bad does the dickens hurt??? hmmmmm....).  Now, I have made several changes to my bike so last night I went to actually look for a chart that would help me narrow it down.  I found one and it was very helpful and thought it might be worth sharing.  Now, do NOT take this in lieu of a professional fitting which you can get at a professional bicycle fitter/shop near you.  But here is a chart that may be helpful if you are trying to get dialed in or can't figure out what it could be at midnight...

 Directly From http://www.caree.org/bike101bikefit.htm

 

Troubleshooting Common Bike-Fit Problems

 

Symptom/Likely Cause /Solution

 

You’re always scooting forward on the seat /Stem may be too long so you pull yourself forward as you ride; saddle nose may be tipped down too much/Install a shorter stem; level saddle

 

You’re always scooting back on the seat /Stem may be too short so you feel cramped and push yourself back; saddle nose may be tipped back; saddle may be too far forward on the rails /Install a longer stem; level the seat and center it on the rails; move your seat back

Lower back hurts /Stem too low or too long; must strain back to reach bars; or seat may be too high, causing rocking when pedaling /Try raising the stem/handlebars; still hurts? try shorter stem; check and adjust seat height

 

Neck hurts /Stem too low; must crane neck to see/ Raise the stem/bars

 

Hands hurt /Stem too low; too much weight on hands; saddle may be pointed down /Raise the stem/bars; level saddle

 

Front of knee hurts /Seat too low and/or too far forward, straining knees /Raise seat; may need to move seat further back as well

 

Back of knee hurts /Seat too high, over-extending leg /Lower seat

 

Numb bum all the time /Too much weight on the seat; may need to slide back a little on the seat. /Try to sit such that you feel the weight on your sit bones rather than the front or center of your crotch Lower handlebar position; check seat height as it may be too high; May need to try another brand of shorts and or seat; lose weight

 

Achilles tendon hurts/ Pedaling too much on your toes; cleats too far forward on your shoes; feet may not be forward enough over the pedal /Keep the balls of your feet over the pedals when you’re pedaling; move cleats back.

 

Bad gas/ Eating too many energy bars /Ride at the back of the pack

 

Extra Bike-Fit Tips

•  How you ride has a lot to do with comfort, too. The number one problem for many cyclists is what I call the vulture riding position, because it resembles that animal’s posture. It’s what a cyclist looks like when he locks his elbows and raises his shoulders, a position even hard-core pedalers often develop. You’ll feel a lot better if you RELAX. Every few miles, shrug your shoulders and let them drop and keep those elbows bent.
• Never raise any bike part too high because it can lead to failure and a crash. Parts are usually marked with limit lines that, when exposed, indicate that the part is too high. Heed these markings.
• Once you’ve found the correct seat height, mark the seat post. Please do this before you travel. This way—if the post slips, or when you pack the bike for shipping—you’ll quickly be able to get it back in the right spot.
• Likewise, measure from the top of the saddle to the center of the pedal axle (put the pedal at the bottom of its stroke, down around six o’clock) and memorize and jot down the number where you can find it. It’ll come in handy if you have to set up another bike, say a rental or borrowed one.
• Early in the season you’re not as flexible and you’ll probably enjoy a higher handlebar position. As you ride more regularly, you’ll gain flexibility and may want to lower the bars to stretch out a bit more.
• Women often require additional changes such as narrower handlebars, shorter stems and easier to operate brake levers.

 

 

 

 

 

A post you can actually use-how to pack your bike bag

As I was repacking my bike bag to ride this morning, I thought of my dear friend, Ginger.  She taught me this valuable trick some time ago and while I would love to say I thought of it, I didn't!! However, it is extremely valuable and thought I would share it with you!

How to pack your bike bag that goes on your bike:

1. Gather your supplies.  I carry two tubes, two Co2s, two Co2 heads, 3 tire levers and an alien tool.  Why?  1) I have gotten two flats on one ride, 2) if a friend has a flat you have spare stuff, 3) if you have one flat and forget to reload your bag, you still have one set of repair supplies, 4) if you lose one Co2 head on the road, you still have an extra.

So, how do you get all this stuff in that little bag...here's Ginger's trick...take the tubes and wrap them in plastic wrap.  It gets all the air out and makes them smaller.  So, I actually hate plastic wrap so if that doesn't work, use aluminum foil.  You can still squeeze the tube together tight. It is not quite as effective but it will work in a pinch.  As you can see I have one in plastic wrap and one in aluminum foil. 

2. It depends on the size of your bag but usually putting the tubes at the bottom and a Co2 cartridge in the middle works for me.  Then work the rest of the goodies into the bag.  See, I have my tubes at the bottom, one Co2 on the bottom.  My alien tool, other Co2 and tire levers are on top.  You can't see this but there is a pocket on the inside of the flap and that's where one of the Co2 heads are and one is actually on Co2 cartridge to save a little more space. It might be a tight squeeze but you can do it now the tubes are much smaller!  Thanks again Ginger!  Do you really need all this stuff?  Maybe not the additional Co2 head but the rest I would take!

3. Yes, I really do have all this stuff in my bag and on my bike.  Stop me and I will show barring I don't have a flat and forget to repack it.  Not only do I have it on my bike, I have bottle holders on the back of my bike and my bag is tucked under that.  This is very useful also because in the summer, I go on long rides with few stops and I drink a ton of water/electrolytes. 

Now, go ride your bike!