Jeans

In the past week, I think I have tried on about a million pairs of jeans...thanks to my two best girl friends and two separate shopping trips which were both a blast!!! So, let's break down trying on jeans...
1) You see them in the store and they look sooooooooooooo cute! Surely, even though they are on that stick thin plastic model and look fabulous they should look even better on you!
2) So, you sort through all the tiny sizes and finally find your size at the very bottom, tucked beneath the tiny little jeans that go on the plastic stick thin model. No worries though because you are going to look hot!
3) You go into the dressing room with a huge smile and possibly a cute top to make an outfit!
4) So, since it is winter you pull off your heavy boots and pants and even though your thighs look like cottage cheese, you just know these cute jeans will solve all your clothing problems.
5) Finally, the moment of truth comes. You pull on the jeans. So, they are a little tight in the thighs but still you are hopeful.
6) You pull them up to your waist...What? You cannot believe it...your thighs are crammed into the fabric like a pig fighting underneath a blanket but the waist is about 2 sizes too big. Oh, and the crotch is so long that you look like you should have some extra equipment down there.
7) But you remain somewhat hopeful despite this small defeat so you trudge out the dressing room and think oh it is just the fit of this pair of jeans...
8) You pick about another 5 pairs of jeans from 5 different manufacturers and 5 different sizes convinced they will fit and make you the next super model...
9) So, now you are working up a sweat which makes pulling jeans on and off a little harder...
10) Each pair has its own fit alright...and none of them fit. So, as if the holidays aren't bad enough, you feel even worse and swear you will never eat a thing until June so you can fit into those jeans.
11) So, after you have spent 2 hours in the dressing room, you finally give up and pull on the only pair of jeans you have that fit and walk out of the dressing room, defeated but swear that you are going to exercise every minute of the day and not eat until February. You will get into those jeans.
12) This act repeats itself in about 10 stores around the mall...Finally, you give up and head home...swearing you will exercise every other day and not eat a thing until January 15.
13) You are exhausted and must have some food to make the long journey to the car so you head to the cookie stand and buy a double doozie and figure you can start not eating tomorrow.