Quiet

Recently, I bought this machine that converts your negatives, slides, pictures into jpegs.  So, tonight I got it out and scanned a bunch of negatives in.  It was great.  Found lost pictures of our wedding and lots of other fun stuff. 

As I was finishing that up and fixin' to go to bed (and yes, you can be fixin' to go somewhere) I realized I had neglected to check the mail, I walked out and thought how quiet it was, peaceful.  There's a storm brewing so it's warm but quiet and peaceful.  It made me think of when I was young my Dad would say stuff like "listen how quiet it is."  I would think what does he mean?  Surely there is something to do somewhere.  My Dad would also take us on the endless drives that I HATED!!!!  But as I walked out to the mailbox tonight, I realized he was right...it was quiet, peaceful, almost serene.  Just the wind and some neighborhood sounds.  It was comforting that just for a second it was serene.  Everything was the way it was supposed to be.  Everyone and everything seemed at peace.  I walked in, grabbed the laptop and came outside to ponder this. 

Here's what I think it is...we are all so busy rushing around, trying to be whatever we think we are supposed to be, trying to do the right things, trying to be the right person, trying to impress people who could really care less, trying to get whatever it is that we think has to be done right this second done, that we totally forget what quiet and peaceful is like.  We don't pause and think how peaceful this is.  Maybe my Pop saw that and appreciated it.  Now, I am older I appreciate it.  It is comforting to know that for just a brief moment that it is peaceful and all is okay.  You are okay.  And for that brief moment you can appreciate that, you appreciate God or whatever it is that works for you.  And maybe you think, like I do, OMG, my Dad was right.  So, just stop for a brief moment and listen to the quiet, feel peaceful and really appreciate it.  I think you will be glad you did.

Because S*** Happens

My sister, Jeanette, just sent me this in a chat about a family members' illness. People may think it sounds mean, I think it is perfectly rational.  When I looked up the cause of our family members' illness, it said the cause was unknown...I think I like my sister's rational better.  More poetic is what I told her.  

Here is the thing...I am one of those people who always want to know why things happen...sometimes this is great because then you can understand and rationalize it. But sometimes there is no reason...which can be torture for people like me.  But I think my sister has it...because s*** happens.  No reason, no sense to it and you won't ever make sense of it. 

In light of that, thought my positive quote of the day was actually pretty appropriate...POSITIVE QUOTE OF THE DAY-The abundant life does not come to those who have had a lot of obstacles removed from their path by others. It develops from within and is rooted in strong mental and moral fiber. - William Mather Lewis

Pondering that quote in addition to this idea, I think that s***happens but without that stuff (i.e. obstacles) there is no way you can have a true appreciation of an abundant life.   Without those obstacles (s***), you cannot develop the mental and moral strength to get through life.  So, my sister is indeed right, s*** happens but somehow it makes you stronger morally and mentally.  Thanks Nette, I am gonna keep you and your degree from the school of life!

Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment.

POSITIVE QUOTE OF THE DAY...Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

This was in my email inbox.  I sure hope this is true...my life lately has been an experiment in patience and sanity.  Not sure how it is going but all I can say is I still have a sense of humor.  Life...is...interesting. Just when you think things are going the way it should...BAM!!!!!  Detour!  It's a good thing God allows detours because my life has taken so many twists and turns that it could be a really bad roller coaster.  But...I do firmly believe Mother Theresa when she said, "God never give you more than you can handle, I just wish he didn't trust me so much."  So, the past year hasn't been the best, I lost the job I loved due to budget cuts, I got attacked by a dog, I am overqualified for jobs I apply for and I live the majority of my life alone even though I am married.  Well, we get through it just like everything else. 

It's kind of like this bike ride I went on on Sunday.  My friend, Lou, organizes a century every month.  So, Sunday about 11 of us start the ride and 3 go shorter, so we have 8 for the century.  Now, on the way out we were into a headwind...now according to Mike R. it wasn't that bad but I don't care, it was a headwind.  However, on the way home we flew...we get to the last stop and everyone seemed like they could have been happy with 80 miles. But at mile 90, the pace went up like crazy.  I was pooped and I wasn't sure I could get in.  Somehow working with Lou, we caught up to the last group and came in at a pretty quick pace.  Now, I have no idea how we managed that but we did.  We got it done!  It was hard but I think we all went home a little more confident and feeling good.  Sort of like life...we are not sure we can get through whatever is hard but we do and we are a little more confident the next time. Some times you just need a little help from your friends.

You're perfect to me

Today, I used Pink's ****in' Perfect as a cool down in my Spin class.   What I wanted to say to my class (but I am not close enough to most of them) is that they were all perfect in their own way.  We all think we have so many flaws and beat the crap out of ourselves about them...yes, I am the poster child for this action.  But as I grow wiser (notice I didn't say older), I realize there is more to like than to dislike.  However, there are many, many days when I beat myself up.  So, Pink's lyrics rang true to me today and many other days.   Think about this lyric ...Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead...gosh, I sure we could all realize how to do this and realize that we are perfect in our own way. 

Here are a few lyrics from the song...
"Made a wrong turn, once or twice, Dug my way out, blood and fire, Bad decisions, that's alright, welcome to my silly life, Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood, Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down, Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated, Look, I'm still around"

 You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong.  Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead.  So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!   Filled with so much hatred...such a tired game.  It's enough! I've done all I can think of.  Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same.  Oh, pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel Like you're less than perfect.  Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing You're perfect to me"

Thank goodness for most of us is that if we feel less than perfect...call your Mom!!!  Trust me from experience, if you ask your Mom if she thinks you are perfect to her, she will say absolutely!!!  In fact, last night I had to take some pictures of scars from a dog bite on my neck and ear.  Having a nice camera is NOT always a benefit...the scars and marks left on my ear and neck about sent me into meltdown.  My ear is deformed and I have a 2-3 inch scar across my neck.  Now, do you see it?  Probably not.  I am thankful for fantastic surgeons and all the Womack staff that helped me. I am thankful for the friends who got me to the hospital when they thought I was going to die and never let on how bad it was.  However, with a good camera, the flaws are undeniable.  So, after I looked at the photos and felt nothing near perfect, I called my Mom.  After about 10-15 minutes, my Mom made me feel perfect to her.  Try it, I bet it works.  Hey, I bet you could call my Mom and she would have you feeling perfect about yourself. 

If your Mom doesn't do it then call your best friend...or if in doubt, call/email/FB me.  We are all indeed perfect in our own way and we need to remember that.  (Ummmm, yes, I realize how corny this is but sometimes we all need a little corniness in our lives.)  Or watch this...and feel perfect...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4Rax2PXiWA&feature=fvst

UnValentine's Mix Play List

Since January, I have been teaching 2 spin classes a week.  Last May, I finished teaching at UNCP as adjunct faculty were cut due to budget cuts.  When I lost my job, I was crushed because finally I felt like I was doing what I was supposed to be doing.  So, thanks to my friend, Nilsa, I got a job teaching 2 classes a week.  I always forget how much I love it until I do it again.  Mad props to my friend and Spin Mentor, FurMan, who really gave me a great basis for teaching.  Sometimes I give a class and have to write him and tell him that I gave a class he would proud of.  Anyhow, yesterday my class was UnValentine's Mix. All that love on Valentine's is sometimes too much so to balance it out I had a UnValentine's Mix.  I listened to it again today on my bike ride and thought it was groovy enough to share.  It was good for angry climbs and empowering for fast flats.  Try it out... And remember to always warm up and cool down...

1) Good Riddance (Time of Your Life), Greenday
2) Love Stinks, J. Geils Band
3) Since U Been Gone, Kelly Clarkson
4) Survivor, Destiny's Child
5) Hit the Road Jack, Ray Childs
6) Fighter, Christina Aguilera
7) Strong Enough, Cher
8) Not Ready to Make Nice, Dixie Chicks
9) I Will Survive, Gloria Gaynor
10) Karma, Alicia Keys
11) Just Fine, Mary J. Blige
12) Cry Me A River, Justin Timberlake
13) I Used to Love Him, Lauryn Hill

PPO

From time to time, I have a PPO...Pity Party for One.  I think we all need to have them from time to time. Hey, we are human...we all feel unappreciated, unwanted, unworthy at some point in our lives.  I wish I could say I was perfect and never had those but I do.  However, I am done with it.  However, I do truly believe that some times we have to go right through the middle of the bad stuff to get to the really good stuff. I'm an expert in this particular discipline.  I have spent years going right through the middle of bad stuff to get to the best stuff.  This, my fellow friends, has made me stronger.  However, I will tell you there are moments where I suffer from the worst stuff.  Honestly, I do believe that you have go through the crappy stuff to really really really really appreciate the really good stuff.  If life was perfect then you would have no idea how good the good stuff really is.  So, I do the best I can to get through the bad stuff because I know the best stuff is coming.  Now, I am all about being positive but if you never ever have nothing bad happen, how can you know what awesome is????  Ponder this question for awhile...then smile!  Cause you can get through just about anything if you have faith and a little determination.  Love and hugs to you all!!!!!!  I'm gonna get through this and whatever else comes my way...Bear with me and  yourself...it really is okay to sometimes be sad...because the best stuff comes on the other end.