AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

So, last week did not turn out the way I planned at all. Thursday, after I got a massage, I felt sick so I did not ride my bike. However, I did get a brand new JEEP! I have always wanted a Jeep!

Friday, I ran the 10 miler and did much better than I thought I would. Then, I went to the gym and lifted weights.
Saturday, attack of the shoulder pain and slept practically all day. I do not know if this is because I am physically tired or mentally tired. Whichever, I did not get to sleep until 4 am from shoulder pain and I woke up at noon. I took a nap from about 2 pm to 5 pm and then went to bed between 10 and 11 pm.
Sunday, nothing.
Monday-ran a 30 minute tempo run, swam and taught spinning.

Today's plan - 2:15 run, bike, and weights. My regular yoga will have to wait because I have to work today.
Wednesday-Teach 3 spin classes and swim. I might do yoga this day because I am off.
Thursday-ride, run, weights and maybe yoga
Friday-swim
Saturday-I hope to do a double century. I have wanted to do this for several years but have never gotten the chance. I sure hope my new saddle comes in.
Sunday-BEACH!!!!

Why do I let people get me down? Why do I believe what they say? Why am I up at 3 am worrying about the insults hurled at me on a daily basis? Daily at work, I regularly get insulted. I know these things are not true but they still hurt. After reading a book about trying to be assertive and not aggressive, I am not sure what to do. Normally, I let it roll off my back but lately it is overwhelming. If I go off then I am passive aggressive. If I do nothing, I am passive. I am not sure how to handle this situation at all without getting upset. I do not think there is a winner here, only losers. After watching Joel Osteen, I tried to go to work and build people up but it is very hard when they keep pushing you down. Of course, I know I allow them to push me down. I sure wish I was teaching over the summer. I used to love my job at the bike shop because I had such a good time there. I really wanted to work in the shop and learn how to repair bicycles but I am not allowed to do that anymore. Now, I get to work on the sales floor and I am a terrible salesperson. Either place the insults come fast and furious so it doesn't really matter. If I can make it through the summer and get back to teaching, maybe I would not have to work there except for teaching spinning.

On top of this, the scale and I are having an argument and the scale is winning. Why is it that I cannot lose any more weight? I know I do not always make the right food choices but I make better ones than most people. I feel like a whale and I guess my three days off last week did not help at all. I need something to bust through this plateau. I keep gaining a pound, losing it, gaining two more, losing one. SO FRUSTRATING!

Another Monday thing, I took my husband's car to get the vinyl repaired. First, I must tell you I have an abnormal fear of taking the car to the shop. I always feel like I am going to get ripped off and it almost sends me into a panic attack. So, I get there to pick it up and the car won't turn over. The guy got it to start but I was afraid it would not start after spin class so I drove all the way home and got the Jeep and went back to work. When I went to South Carolina once, every time I turned the car off it would not start again so I was afraid of this again. Thank goodness for AAA. Anyway, when I got home it turned over just fine and when I got home for the evening, I tried it again and it was just fine. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Mondays suck! The positive in all of this is that the guy didn't not charge me nearly as much as I thought it would be and I got the vinyl fixed in the car. This was part of my husband's belated birthday gift!

On a good note, I am going to UNC-G soon to talk about starting my doctorate degree. I am so excited and nervous all at the same time. I really hope to become a full professor one day and I know this is the way to do that. I probably won't start classes until next fall but every step is a step in the right direction. Hopefully, I can apply and get an internship and get some more great experience. Right now, I feel sort of stuck because I really want to teach more but I am limited to adjunct faculty because I only have a Masters degree. However, I am getting a lot of good experience and am trying to learn from my rookie mistakes. I am very thankful that I got a teaching position (even though adjunct) right after getting my Masters! Thank you God! It is really a Godsend. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do and after teaching (even with all my mistakes and the kids), I knew that is what I wanted to do. Again, thank you God!

Well, the week has to improve. My husband told me that if I was having a bad day to hop in my Jeep...it works! Automatically, I had a smile on my face and felt quite happy. I still cannot believe it is mine. I had my little pickup truck for 12 years (and we still have it) so I haven't had a new car in a long time! My whole life I wanted a Jeep. Most people want fancy and expensive cars for their dream cars and I just wanted a Jeep! Now, I have one! Thanks be to God!