Forgiveness…

In my life, I have made a lot of mistakes that I truly regret. TD Jakes once said on unforgiveness…you can forgive someone but you don’t have to be their best friend. Hmmmm…does this mean you can ask for forgiveness and not have to be someone’s best friend? If you haven’t figured this out by now, I might try to act tough but most people really know I have a tender heart and I take things personally, get my feelings hurt easily and I do think about things I have done wrong to someone or something and make myself nuts about them. There are lots of mistakes I have made in my life that I am truly sorry for. Some I don’t care if the person knows that and some I do care if they know. Mistakes…everyone makes them and they hurt others (even if unintentionally). Without going into detail, I have let some people down and I am sorry. I don’t know how to approach that with these people but gosh, I sure hope they know that I know I made mistakes and I am truly sorry. You can never go back to where you were before but you can forgive. This is a difficult concept.

So, what does this have to do with riding your bicycle? Well…sometimes life is like riding a bicycle. You start out with a group and you work really hard to stay with this group. But you make some mistake and you lose the group or leave someone out there alone that doesn’t know their way. If you are still with the group and left someone out there alone that doesn’t know their way, that’s a mistake because that person trusted you. If you lose the group and have to find your way on your own and get lost, then that’s a problem too. What do you do in either situation? Hard to tell but in your heart you know the right thing and you have forgive that person and YOURSELF! At the end of the ride, did you leave feeling crappy or good? Now, some people don’t get it and never will. But most of us do get it. I have done both…made a mistake and lost the group AND left someone out there. For those things I am truly sorry.

Here is the positive to take away from that…we all make mistakes (I make them every single day). You have to forgive your own mistakes and the mistakes of others. Each mistake teaches you something – good or bad. Take the lesson. Sounds cliché, I know but oh, so true. Most importantly, know you made a mistake and apologize even if it is eons later. This takes a huge burden off you even if the person hates you forever. You did what you could and at the end of the day, sometimes that is really all you can do. One more thing, and listen to me here, forgive yourself. We are all human. If no one ever made a mistake, think of how boring things would be or how we would never know hard times to appreciate the good ones.

To the people I have wronged, I am sorry. I am sure whatever and whoever it is I could come up with a laundry list of excuses but all that matters is that I am sorry I hurt you and I will try to never lose the group or leave you out there alone again.

Last thing here…my Dad died 5 years ago April 2. The last time I saw him I was so mad at him but I will tell you that the one thing I take comfort in is that the very last thing I said to him (even if my anger) is I love you. I also wrote him a letter that I actually had to pay for with others but I will tell you that I am glad I said I love you and that I wrote that letter. I will also tell you that my sister later told me that my Dad said “I know she loves me” and I never doubted that he loved me. And that, my friends, is the greatest gift you can give others and yourself, know that you love and that you are loved. And Forgive…other people and yourself. Don’t lose your group or leave anyone out there alone.