Just finished reading some random blog and it was just hysterical. It talked about fat clothes, directions on microwaving pop tarts and other random things. It occurred to me that 15 years ago (I know I do not even look that old-it is just amazing!), I would not have thought this was at all funny. Then I met and married my Doodle Bug almost 12 years ago (again, how did I even get a marriage license because I looked like just a teen fresh out of junior high?)...bless his heart, he is the king of smarta--. He is just hysterical and keeps me on my toes. As a result, I have developed this knack as sort of a defense mechanism. Thankfully, my peeps understand this about me and still love me anyway. I used to be a naive and nice person who tried never to say anything to offend people but now it is all over.
On a different note, I have taken to having a cocktail almost every night. It is one of the highlights of my day to be sitting on my couch at the end of a busy day, staring at my messy house and having no desire to clean and hope Doodle calls me on the way home so I can furiously clean it (hey, I can always use a different kind of workout for cross training) and having a nice glass of wine or a Mike's Hard Lemonade (they have various flavors and I highly recommend them all). Now, the past two times I have gone to buy beverages, they have not carded me. What happened? Do I finally look like a grown up? I was really trying to avoid this. This might mean that people think I actually am responsible. I have been trying really hard to keep this a secret because then they expect me to do responsible stuff. What fun is that? Dang it!!!! I was trying for a much different look. What to do?
Speaking of being responsible...at my annual lube and oil change, my doc told me that I thought I should think about having a child before too long. SERIOUSLY! Has he met me? What on earth was he thinking? Does the military have a cap on BC now...after so many years they boot you off? (Gosh, I sure hope not because there are some folks who really need it or they would have a small army.) This would mean I really have to be responsible. Hello, I am not even a good pet parent. I leave my cat for a week and have even forgot to feed him. I do not think a child would stand for this. People say this changes when you have a child. This may be true but I seriously have my doubts. At work, they do not even let me have sharp objects...now, you want to give me a precious, fragile human being...seriously.
Have you ever read the warnings on different appliances? They say things like do not place the hair dryer in the water when you are in the bathtub. You know someone did this and that is why they had to put the warning on the label. On a Starbucks cup, it says WARNING, beverage is hot. Well, it better be because that is what I paid for...what good is cold hot chocolate? Hello, hot is in the name. It darn well better be hot because Starbucks is not cheap. You know that some old lady poured hot coffee all over herself at McDonald's and sued the heck out of them and now they have to pay extra to print this on all their hot cups...what is next? Warning, this cup of coffee has caffeine, it might wake you the heck up. Is that not why people drink it?
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