One day I am going to have a best seller....

Any time my husband is far enough away that he cannot return quickly, some thing (okay, many things) go hay wire in my life....here is the latest example...

So, today I decide I am going to cut the grass so Leona and I can go to the beach tomorrow. I get the lawnmower and off I go. Mow the front yard and the lawnmower works just fine. Get to the back yard and with my ADD self, I cannot cut the grass in straight lines. I have to go in some funky jacked up way...not even a pattern. But I think I will cut the grass and start cleaning the house so when I get home from the beach tomorrow I can just hang out in my clean house with the manicured lawn. So, about half way through the lawnmower starts smoking and I think that something is wrong with the oil. Well, it stops and there is some oil on the mower but it starts up again. First thing I notice is all the bugs are gone! WOW, I think the smoke cleared away the bugs and I could leave the windows open without fear of getting eaten alive. So, I continue in my jacked up lawnmowing way and finally the lawnmower dies. After several attempts, I figure it is better for me to leave it and maybe somehow someway it will fix itself. Of course, I leave it in the middle of the backyard. I then decide to get the weedwacker and trim the rest of the grass because in my brain there is not that much left. So, I start weedwacking away. Now, the weedwacker is cordless and dies after about 10 minutes. Not to mention that thing gets a little heavy my forearms feel like I have been beat up by the closest UFC fighter. So, here I sit...lawn looks some psycho elf half assed mowed it, dead lawnmower sitting in the middle of the back yard, dead weedwacker on the charger. All hopes of becoming the more efficient wife and better housekeeper dead...better get the wine because I am really good at that. And once I have had enough wine I won't care about the yard and I might convince myself that it looks just fine and I might have discovered a new landscaping trick. Heck, I won't even care the house looks like a hurricane hit it. Bless my heart and bring on the wine!